Dec 16, 2015
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The old security guard was puffing on a smoke, and staring out at the parking lot with faded blue eyes, as Nick and I approached his bench.
“It’s nice out, huh?” Nick asked.
“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Neil said, and I swear the blue in his eyes brightened as he said it. It was 8:30 am on a mid-December morning and I guessed it was 60 degrees in the sun.
“Global warming ain’t so bad, right?” I asked, and Neil let out the first chuckle I’d ever heard.
“Not bad at all,” Nick said, “my house will be beach-front property soon.”
“Ahhh, HA-HA!” Neil let out, and his contagious laughter infected me nearly as much as Nick’s joke.
You already know my feelings about this horrible time of year but, even though I’d welcome an ice-free winter with open arms, I have to admit the abnormal weather does make me wary.
I even feel a little guilty for making the joke…
I totally expected to share this last photo by telling you that I’m holding onto spring with all my might, but I haven’t really had to this year. I’ve even been hoping for snow.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Dec 7, 2015 |
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I’ve used a constant metaphor throughout the Life’s a Blur series, “each photo is like a meditation,” I say, but what do I know about meditation? In the past year or so, I’ve felt more like a twig in a tornado than a bellyfull buddha, chillin’ in the center of a storm.
Life’s a Blur is over, done, onto the next thing, and I just realized that I lied to you. I said that I would begin meditating again, months ago, and it’s only been this past week that I’ve actually done it.
I almost forgot what it was like to live inside my body in a world that’s ruled by outside achievement… even a few minutes makes a huge difference in my perspective.
Do you meditate? What do you do to chill out? I’m curious!
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Sep 30, 2015 |
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I had just relearned how to eat ice cream from a cone, chocolate evidence was all over my shirt, and the laughs Nick and I shared energized our spirits as we drove home from Joe’s Dairy Bar.
Occassional sparks illuminated the fluffy, dark purple clouds and zig-zagged down through the pink sky. I slowed the car and we gawked at the gorgeousness of it all.
At home, we sat in the backyard, watching those windswept wisps fly by and listening to the magical sound of the wind chimes for the very first time. The pink sky turned periwinkle, then deep blue, and two bats’ dancing silhouettes fluttered against it.
Something bounced on the patio and Gracie was on it like the black on those bats. The toad got drooled on, but we saved him from becoming a doggie snack.
The sky darkened and something swooped into the bushes and hovered there. A hummingbird? No. A moth the size of my fist, swaying with the branches to hide from the bats.
Friday nights are for us. Movies, video games, or maybe just a snuggle chat… oh my. This was, so far, the most memorable, magical of those nights.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Jul 24, 2015 |
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As we count down the days to our big move, all my excitement is stilled by this nagging nausea. I start to slow, I sit still, and look at things a little longer.
What will I miss?
Our cramped apartment gave us a certain closeness; I will miss Nick being just a glance away when he’s laughing at Reddit – or a glare away when he’s screaming at pretend people.
I might miss not knowing who Gracie’s favorite is… if it doesn’t end up being me.
I may miss other things that I won’t miss until they’re already gone, so I’m trying to take it all in, and appreciate it while I’m still here.
I’m dragging out my spring photos like a sentimental spring hugger, which is an excellent description of me. The truth is, though, I have no time to make summer photos, and I overdid the spring ones. Lucky you. =)
What are you sentimental about? What do you miss about a change in your life? Tell me, tell me, I really wanna know!
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Jul 17, 2015 |
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My struggle with perfection is a constant battle.
That’s why the last magnolia petal I’m sharing with you is the odd one. While there is something beautiful about it, it’s still my least favorite. I’m a walking oxymoron… in so many ways. One minute I’m talking about snowflakes and how beautiful the imperfections are and the next I’m tossing away petals with creases, and petals with rot and wrinkles.
I’ve been struggling in my podcast with this too… it’s so hard for me to let that very 1st episode go. It was even harder to do my very first unscripted episode.
I don’t have time to be perfect in this post today. I’m letting it go to you quicker than ever – barely edited.
I have a podcast to launch in 2 weeks, a pet photo session to edit, more “Life’s a Blur” images to edit for you, and suddenly we’re moving to THE perfect house the day after my (already revised) podcast date! I’m so excited about everything that’s happening, but let me just say: my plate is loaded, I feel like my eyes are bigger than my stomach, and it’s time to chow down baby!
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Jul 10, 2015 |
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I honked the horn of my sea green ’93 Taurus, we were at a red light on a two-lane highway, and when the driver next to us glanced over, Lauren and I smiled with the goofiest grins we could make. We waved at him with quickly flailing hands. Then we looked at each other and cackled like crazies. Before I sped off I glanced back at the man, and I saw that our silliness had spread the smiles.
I was always weirdly silly, but it never came out publicly unless I had an accomplice. I wonder if 30-year-old me can pull it off now all alone as good as 17-year-old me did with my besties back then. I predict more nervous glances than grinning giggles.
There’s something about two people laughing madly that’s contagious… but, ironically, it’s not really an inside joke if it’s only inside you. That’s where the line between hilarious and insane starts to blur.
As I’m writing this, I’m feeling unusually giddy. I’m trying hard not to laugh for fear of drawing strange glances from other coffee house patrons. I miss youth and fearlessness, and I miss all my partners in weird laughter crime.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Jul 3, 2015 |
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Under the magnolia tree, I sat on a gravestone to rest. It was a hot day for early spring and I was cooling off in the dappled shade, and getting mesmerized by the glistening sun spots that quivered with the breeze. Every breath of wind sent pink and white petals floating and flipping to the ground.
When you stick your face to the back of a camera, all of your energy is pointed at a single perspective. It’s surprisingly easy to miss everything that’s going on around you.
Relaxing against the cool stone, my gaze floated across the flowery floor. Jutting out between petals were these little brown bunny ear looking things. Once I saw one, I saw them everywhere.They were like little cocoons, I realized, that held in the flower until its beauty was ready to burst.
In a few weeks, I thought, there will be nothing left under this tree but dirt and grass. If you blink, it seems, the flowers have fallen, they melt back into the earth, and it’s like they never existed. Life is truly a blur.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Jun 26, 2015 |
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The wedding season is finally over – now it’s baby season. I’m sure by now you’re aware of my feelings on all the fooey fluffliness of weddings.
However ridiculous I think they are, though, weddings don’t change much these days. When a couple gets married, they’ve probably already been living together. It’s more like a celebration that they haven’t killed each other yet, than an announcement of naïvely innocent love.
Babies are different though; babies are game changers. As my Facebook feed becomes swarmed with big bellies and newborns, I get a little queasy. It’s empathy, and a projection of my own fears.
I don’t want a baby. I have absolutely no desire to take on an 18-24 year project that will rip my body apart, bleed my bank account, and challenge my patience. Every once in awhile, though, I wonder what it would be like, what my kid might look like, and if it’s something I’m destined to do.
“You better check what time of the month it is when you start to think those things.” My friend, Michele, made me laugh when she said that, but it’s true. I’m fighting a biological instinct and, luckily, I’m still winning.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Jun 19, 2015
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“It’s a bittersweet, symphony, this life…” The song plays in my head as I write this.
Everything in life can be seen as either bitter or sweet. More often, though, things can be found floating somewhere in between those extremes, on the way from one end to the other.
A cookie comes with calories. From sweet to bitter.
Running is painfully healthy. From bitter to sweet.
There is never an instance of love that is not eventually followed by loss.
Every path we take is filled with both the opportunity to succeed and the risk of failure.
For me, every opportunity seems like another fear to overcome. It’s like juggling a chocolate chip with an orange peel on my tongue.
Before spring shows its beautiful colors it has to emerge from a barren, muddy brown world flooded by winter’s tears. The beginning of spring is bitterly sweet.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Jun 12, 2015 |
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My world becomes a blur of yellow and green as I jog past the forsythia flowers blooming alongside the road. Every ounce of my willpower is pushing each foot forward as it pounds against the pavement.
On earlier, chillier days I focused my attention on breathing. Every few strides, I’d inhale deeply through my nose and exhale through my mouth. I’d sort of get into a meditative state, as much as was possible while fighting the constant urge to stop, the rhythmic whoosh of breath and thumping feet lulling me into a state of submission.
Now the sun is starting to cook the earth. When I breathe in I might be filled with the sweet scent of flowers, but more often I get a stinky surprise like burning charcoal, exhaust fumes, or fresh dog shit. I stop using my nose to breathe, and I’m panting like a dog.
I miss the desensitized nose I had when I used to smoke and I wonder how Gracie’s doggie nose can deal with it all.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
