Links from the Show at a Glance:

 

Etsy Shop Owner: Anna Wiseman

Etsy Shop: UniQueen’s Shop

Product: Funny Cactus Mask

 

Soma Breath – learn to heal yourself from the inside out with the powerful breathing exercises taught here.

 

Try the Breathwork Masterclass for free while it lasts!

 

 

Art Ink Submission Guidelines: rebekahnemethy.com/artinksubs

 

 

 

Art Ink Podcast Transcript:

 

[Intro:]

 

Welcome back to a brand new episode of Art Ink, my friends.

 

As the girl who once slept through the storm that brought a 2-foot wide tree crashing onto my neighbor’s house, it’s hard to believe I’m now finding myself struggling to fall asleep some nights.

 

It may be my new recording schedule, I work from 8pm to 2am four nights a week to record audiobooks, because that’s the only time traffic dies down enough so as not to break me out of my flow every few minutes. There are benefits to this new schedule, though, like having the hours before it gets dark to focus on some of my other creative habits, like writing for this podcast.

 

As I write this it’s day 4 of a 100-day project I’ve started to get myself writing here and turn it into an everyday habit. Have you noticed that I’m nearly back on track with bi-weekly scheduling?!? Yup, this is the 3rd episode I’ve gotten to you on an actual schedule, and that makes me feel sooo accomplished.

 

Anyway, I was talking about my newfound sleep issues… which may have something to do with my weird schedule, but probably has more to do with all the fear and turmoil pulsing through the world. Despite consciously staying away from mass media and social media, after one too many devastating rabbit holes, and only leaving the house twice per month to go grocery shopping, I still can’t escape it. I feel it in the air like a sad second skin… and when I’m unfortunate enough to discover some bit of news accidentally that feeling becomes 100 times worse. I feel desperate and hopeless and like I can’t do a fucking thing in the world to help heal it.

 

On at least half a dozen occasions I’ve found myself unable to sleep for so many hours that I end up grabbing my phone to do something—anything other than lie there. One night I found myself on Etsy searching for a mask. Weeks before that I’d told myself I would not buy one, that this too would pass, but the construction mask I’d been using already had two knots holding the elastic together and the government mandates were not being lifted.

 

So I went to Etsy to find a mask that could express how I felt about wearing one, and I came across a mask that said “Free Hugs! Just kidding don’t touch me.”

 

In a flash that familiar sadness enveloped me and I imagined what I could do to spread more love and connection through the world. The idea to start a hugging booth came to mind, but the fearful track that path led down was struck down just as quickly when my imagination took me through what could happen to me if I’d actually done such a thing.

 

So my sleepless night, is your entertainment… at least it wasn’t all for nothing.

 

 

But before we dive into the story, let me give you a taste of the cover art. You might have already guessed that today’s artist is actually an Esty shop. Anna Wiseman didn’t design the mask that’s on today’s cover art, but she did license it for use in her UniQueen’s Shop on Etsy, where you’ll find hilarious designs on everything wearable from masks to underwear! Links, of course, in the shownotes.

 

[Art Description:]

 

The green mask that’s featured alongside today’s story has a cute little cartoony cactus on the left hand side. It’s wearing glasses, and has three little pink flowers that look like hearts on top of its head and both arms. It’s sticking out of a planter that’s pink with white polka-dots. The rest of the mask is covered with black text that says, “Free hugs! Just kidding, don’t touch me.” And the whole design is bordered with two frames layered over each other. A dark green, grassy-looking frame with white dots is beneath a brown, wooden-looking frame that rests tilted on top.

 

This is the story of the version of me that isn’t scared shitless to do what she feels is right… and hey, maybe in some other universe, this is a true story. But lucky for me, in this reality I’m just a scared nerd who creates characters to do what I’m not brave enough to.

 

I hope you enjoy this fictional short story I’ve titled, Dangerous to Love

 

[Story:]

 

Beth picked up the last of the broken egg shells that littered the grass surrounding their booth while Damien wiped down their hand-painted, “FREE HUGS” sign. This had become a daily chore for them in the weeks they’d set up the hugging booth on their front lawn. At least no one had TPed the large oak tree today… that had only happened once, though, and not surprisingly since toilet paper had become rarer than a feather on a fish lately.

 

Beth assumed two things about the TP incident: 1) whoever had done it must be stocking stacks of white towers throughout their home for their ass-wiping security and 2) this person was making a statement about how much they loathed the hugging booth.

 

Damien jumped to a blaring horn that sounded behind him. It was a guy in a black pick up truck who leaned on his horn for a good 6 seconds as he flew by. “Psychos!!!” he screamed out the window, “I hope you suffocate and die for what you’re doing!”

 

Neither of them acknowledged the man with more than a glance, but Beth could tell by Damien’s rigid stance and deep breathing that he was struggling to contain his anger.

 

“It’s never too early for the first hug of the day!” Beth said as she wrapped her arms around him, and he softened a bit in her embrace.

 

“Remind me again why we’re still doing this?” Damien muttered into her hair.

 

“Because love and connection is the cure,” Beth began, and then Damien droned in unison, “not fear and separation.”

 

“That’s right,” Beth said as she pulled back from him, placed a hand on his chest and smiled up into his amber eyes. She knew that Damien would rather be doing anything else right now. Though he agreed with her sentiments, he didn’t agree it was a smart idea to make themselves into a target this way. But he supported her regardless, even if it was the only option she gave him to help keep her “safe.” She hated that he was afraid for her, but she figured all the love he was giving out in hugs balanced it out.

 

Another car slowed on the busy street in front of them, but this one turned into their driveway. A woman with wild black curls bouncing around her head sprung out of the car: Lisa. Her arms were outstretched before she’d crossed half the distance to them. She wedged herself in between Damien and Beth and pulled them in close. “Group hug!” She yelled at the sky, then quieter, “God, I can’t tell ya how much I’ve needed this.”

 

“Glad we could help Leese,” Beth said as she pulled back from her friend. “I actually thought of you the other day, it’s been awhile, how’ve you been?”

 

“Eh, I’ve been better… just heading out on my bi-weekly trip to the grocery store, and honestly I’m probably gonna hit ya’ll up for another one on the way back home… the last time I went it was like the apocalypse up in there.”

 

Over Lisa’s shoulder a 40-something woman glared at them, holding her phone up to the window, shaking her head like she was looking at a giant rendering of her child’s failing report card as she slowly drove past in an old Mercedes station wagon.

 

Damien had moved to settle into his spot for the day, but he was still listening, “Well, we’ll be here all day,” he said and he fell into the canvas camping chair, his book already in hand. “How are Stan and the kids?”

 

Lisa harrumphed and crossed her arms, “Stan’s as neurotic as ever and the kids are stir-crazy. You’d think with all the extra hands on board my house would be spic and span, right? Hmph!” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “My house is a disaster. But my garden is lookin’ better than ever… it’s the only place I can get away from them, so I take advantage of it—a lot.” Lisa paused for a moment as if she’d magically transported herself into that magical garden of solitude, then she seemed to snap out of it. “Speaking of Stan, he’d kill me if he knew what I was doing here… so I’d better get going. But I’ll be back for a quickie, you can count on it!” She gave Beth a devilish smile before she turned back toward her car.

 

Beth waved at her and then lowered herself down next to Damien in her own chair. She’d forgotten her own book inside, but the lukewarm cup of coffee on the table and the rustling leaves that glimmered in the early morning sun were enough to entertain her for now.

 

The traffic had picked up over the last few days, places were starting to reopen, people were going back to work… but from what she’d heard, things were far from settling back into normalcy. This was the new normal, she’d seen many a social media post claim, but Beth refused to accept that. She refused to accept that she’d never be able to smile at a stranger in the grocery store, or that she’d never be able to breathe freely, bare-faced, in public without feeling like a criminal, but it was when her friend, through a Zoom meeting said, “I wish I could give you a hug,” that really sent Beth spiraling into a black hole of despair.

 

“You can hug whoever you want!” Beth had wanted to scream, but she’d kept silent, because she knew that would do little to change her friend’s beliefs. But in that moment, the idea for the hugging booth had come to her, because she knew there had to be other people like her out there who were feeling the same way, but too afraid to admit it. And she’d found some of them in the time since she and Damien had opened the booth… but they’d also discovered just how deeply the panic inducing fear ran through their neighborhood.

 

Most people weren’t complete “Mask-holes” like the guy who’d driven by earlier, but the majority were unable to stop their feelings from seeping out of their expressions, especially from the comfort zone of their contained cars, when they thought no one was looking. So the shock, anger, disdain, and terror was clear to Beth, who couldn’t help but look. It was the darkest kind of people watching she’d ever done. And it felt vulnerable, because these passers-by were shooting eye daggers at her attempt to love and heal a world that so desperately needed healing.

 

Beth had her own fears, not of getting a novel virus that had a 97% chance of strengthening her immune system, not of breathing fresh air in a public location, and certainly not of touching another human being, even one who might be sick.

 

No, Beth feared something much bigger: losing her freedom.

 

And people were showing up in droves to give away their rights these days. All in the name of fear. All falling prey to information that is so obviously designed to manipulate us… but we’re so damned used to it by now, that it’s second nature to fear the “threat” of the day and give into the “solution” designed to sway us into the arms of complete control.

 

There wasn’t a vaccine yet, or so they claimed, but it was coming, and Beth was afraid of what was in it. The all-too-convenient solution that would be force-fed to the masses. She pictured the signs outside of shops, no shirt, no shoes, no mask, no entry… and she imagined “no vaccine” added to the rapidly growing list of “public safety” rules. She imagined a futuristic world that horrified her. A world where people had to choose between not being able to literally show their faces in public and having the freedom to determine what medications go into their bodies. A world where the masked and unmasked folks further separated the classes, where the poorer, essential workers had to spend a majority of their lives covered, while the richer, work from home, class of people were free to bare their faces.

 

No one who flew before 2001 would ever have consented to standing like a criminal in a radioactive chamber that scanned their entire body – literally bearing you naked in front of strangers. But scare people long enough, and they’ll do anything in the name of “safety.”

 

To Beth it was such an obvious cycle of scare, control, repeat. It was simply marketing on the grandest of scales… under the guise of public service.

 

Beth shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. No use running down her own fearful bunny pit. Worries were just prayers for things she didn’t want.

 

Gravel crunching in the driveway snapped her attention away from the empty bottom of her coffee mug and Beth looked up at an approaching man… and not just any man, but Stan, Lisa’s husband Stan.

 

“A hugging booth huh?” Beth couldn’t decipher his tone, it was a strange mix of disgust and surrender. His body language was contradictory too, his eyes were squinty, so Beth imagined a smile stretched across his face, but she couldn’t be sure what his lips were doing hidden beneath his mask. His hands were clenched and shaking, as if anger was violently struggling to escape from his fists.

 

“Stan?” Beth rose from her seat and walked towards him. “Everything ok Stan?”

 

Damien put his book down and looked on, but he didn’t get up. Beth could feel the tension in him coiled tight like a rattlesnake waiting for his enemy to step too far into his territory, but Stan stopped his approach well beyond the recommended 6-foot distance.

 

“I knew Lisa was up to something, all the time it takes her to go the store and get back.” Stan said.

 

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Stan,” Beth lied. Had he been following his wife? No, he would’ve been here much sooner if that were the case.

 

“I have it on video, Beth, so don’t you dare lie to me,” Stan said through gritted teeth. His hands seemed to quiver double time. Sweat beaded his forehead, and a large droplet slid down the side of his face and disappeared as it was absorbed by the fabric against his cheek.

 

“You have what on video?” Beth asked.

 

Without a word he finally unclenched one of his fists to pull his phone out of his pocket. His white-knuckled grip wrapped around it as he pointed the screen in Beth’s direction.

 

And there the three of them were, Beth, Damien, and Lisa wrapped up in a group hug.

 

“How could you put our family at risk like this, Beth? You know that Lucy has asthma. What the fuck is wrong with you? Haven’t you been watching the news? If anyone in my family gets sick, it’s on you!” He thrust his phone in her direction as if it were a quadruple thick extension of his own accusatory finger. Then he turned to stomp back to his car.

 

Beth said nothing… there were a number of things she wanted to say, but none of it would console Stan; given his current state, anything she said was likely to anger him further. So instead she took a deep breath and stood her ground, straightening her spine to make herself feel as tall and confident as she could, until he’d finally pulled out of the driveway and sped away.

 

Once he was gone, Beth raced over the table where she’d left her phone and immediately called her friend to warn her. It went directly to voicemail. “Lisa, Stan was just here, he somehow had video of you hugging us…” it was then that Beth had a sudden flashback of the woman who’d driven by earlier with her phone pressed against the glass, “he must have hired a PI or something to follow you. I don’t know for sure, Leese, but he was pissed, so please be careful. You’re welcome to stay here if you want to let him cool down or something. I’m so sorry. I love you. Be safe.” And then, reluctantly, Beth hung up.

 

Not feeling satisfied, Beth then texted Lisa too, just for another chance to get the message through.

 

“Don’t worry,” Damien was suddenly in front of her, stroking down her arms from shoulder to elbow with comforting hands, “she said she was going to come back here on her way home.”

 

“Oh, that’s right,” Beth stepped into Damien’s chest and relished in the comfort of his enveloping arms. “I forgot about that,” she murmured into his t-shirt, “but you’re right, she’s going to be fine.”

 

Stan had never hurt Lisa or the kids, as far as Beth knew anyway, but he had a scary temper that often resulted in broken glass and holes in walls.

 

A car door slammed and Beth, thankfully, was pulled from her darkening spiral of thoughts. A white-haired woman in a mask and gloves stood unmoving in front of her car. She looked straight to Beth, but made no attempt to walk towards her. There was fear in her eyes.

 

“Need a hug my friend?” Beth called to her.

 

“Yes, but…” the woman’s shaky voice trailed off, her eyes darting sideways, as if looking for the words in the air.

 

“I can put on my mask and gloves, if that would help you feel safer?”

 

The woman’s eyes seemed to warm up in response, and she quickly nodded.

 

“Sure, no problem,” Beth assured as she reached inside her jeans pockets to pull out gloves. The mask was already around her neck, as this seemed to be a common request, but Beth only raised it when asked. It was the shaky middle ground she stood on these days, like a wobbly, decrepit bridge she had to traverse to meet between the land of fear and separation and her island of love and connection.

 

Sometimes Beth even had gratitude for masks, in those brief moments she was able to let go of her own fears during her meditations. They were placebos… and everyone knew the placebo effect was a powerful one; maybe even powerful enough to keep up to 80% of the people who believed in them healthy and alive. She often wished she could share in those beliefs.

 

Once Beth had covered her face, the lady slowly began her approach.

 

“What’s your name?” Beth asked.

 

“Rose.”

 

“Well it’s so nice to meet you, Rose,” and Beth forced herself to smile more broadly than she normally would so that it shone through her eyes. Then she wrapped Rose up in a hug.

 

“I live alone,” Rose said, the tension seeming to drain out of her body in bursts as quivering erupted into escaped sobs. “These past few weeks have been very hard for me.”

 

“Oh Rose, I’m so sorry.” Beth said softly. “Well you’re not alone now. And you’re welcome to come back anytime.” She squeezed her new friend a bit more to prove it.

 

“Thank you so much dear… what you’re doing is commendable.”

 

“Anytime, really.” Beth said as Rose finally pulled back.

 

Beth returned to her chair. The sun had finally risen high enough to blanket it, and she basked in its warmth, pulling down her mask in order to feel the full effect upon her skin. She pointed her face directly into the light, enjoying the glowing orangey patterns that shone through her closed eyelids.

 

“I’m heading in for another cuppa joe,” Damien stood and collected Beth’s mug, “want some more?”

 

“Sure, I’ll take another cup, thanks.” With the sun blanketing her in the cool morning air, Beth was just comfy enough that she was likely to nod off if nothing else appeared sooner to occupy her attention. She forced her eyes open, squinting across the yard, and was surprised to see a woman’s silhouette cresting the small hill that led up into their front yard from the street.

 

There was a lot of traffic on this road, much of which was made up of tractor-trailers and construction vehicles, and the shoulders were narrow, even non-existent in some places. All in all, it was not the kind of road you saw many people strolling down. During all the weeks that Beth had been giving out hugs, she hadn’t seen one person show up on foot.

 

The woman had straight black hair that hung past her shoulders, she wore a summery white dress and ankle high combat boots, and though her face was flushed with heat, she was wearing an olive green coat that was about 3 sizes too big for her. And there was no way this woman was out for a leisurely walk, she was marching as if she were on a mission. She stomped right up to Beth, who was standing to greet her.

 

“Hello neighbor,” she said, and Beth could sense something was off in her tone. Despite the heaviness Beth felt in the pit of her stomach, when the lady spread her arms out for a hug Beth reciprocated without hesitation.

 

The woman grabbed her with only one arm and suddenly that heaviness in Beth’s gut sharpened to excruciating and she doubled over.

 

“Your death wish is granted, bitch,” the woman sneered as she pulled the bloody knife from Beth’s stomach.

 

Everything was red: the white sundress was splattered, Beth’s hands were drenched as she pulled them away from the warm wet wound in her gut… so much blood had already dripped to the ground, coating the grass as Beth fell down to it, seemingly in slow motion.

 

“Beth!” Damien’s frantic voice called out, but it was so far away, even though he was clutching her almost instantly. The pounding of steps beat down the road. Loud squealing screamed into Beth’s ears as Damien’s concerned features began to blur. And a final, heavy, thump was the last sound she heard before the world blacked out.

 

 

***

 

A rhythmic beeping roused Beth from sleep and she opened her eyes slowly, blinking to acclimate to the too bright light. She felt groggy and numb. As the unfamiliar ceiling tiles came into focus she tried to sit up and pain cut through the layer of fuzziness she was lying in. She let out a breath as she fell back down on the bed.

 

Suddenly Lisa was standing over her. “Don’t try to move Beth, you’ll hurt yourself. You’re going to be ok, but the doctors say you’ll need some time.”

 

“She stabbed me.” Beth whisper-rasped out in disbelief as her last memories flooded back to her.

 

“Yeah, well karma smacked her down pretty quickly.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“She ran right into traffic trying to get away… a truck hit her… she didn’t make it.”

 

A tear escaped the corner of Beth’s eye. Despite what the girl had done to her, she was saddened by that news. The girl was obviously unhinged, maybe mentally ill, maybe an addict… or maybe she’d simply snapped under the heaviness of the world. It was an all too common story lately. Regardless, the girl had needed help, not instant cosmic revenge. More tears flowed.

 

“You’re the only one I know who could feel pity for someone who just tried to murder you,” Lisa chastised, but her smile was warm as she wiped Beth’s tears away.

 

“Where’s Damien?”

 

“I made him go get food… he should be back any minute.”

 

“Hold long have I been here?”

 

“Only a couple of days, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re going to have to stay a bit longer.”

 

Beth let out a sigh as she resolved herself to her situation. Then her mind bounced back to the previous day’s events. “Are you ok? What happened with Stan?”

 

“Oh he’s pissed as can be… made me a quarantine room in the basement…” Lisa stopped herself from going on and forced a smile, “but don’t you worry about that right now. You worry your pretty little head with getting better, you hear?” Her second smile was genuine.

 

But Beth wasn’t going to let it go, “I saw a woman drive by earlier with her phone to the window. I think she was following you, recording you.”

 

It was Lisa’s turn to sigh. “I’m afraid not love, she was recording the hugging booth, not me, I just happened to be there, and Stan just happened to see it.”

 

“What? How?”

 

“That lady posted the video to social media… and it went viral… and not in a good way.” Lisa’s smile was slanted now. She hesitated before she said, “The cops suspect your attacker saw the video too and recognized your house.”

 

After a long pause, Lisa continued, “So I guess the world’s not ready for a hugging booth yet.”

 

“What?” Beth’s look was incredulous. “This just proves that we’re more in need of love than ever! Hurt people, hurt people Leese, you know that.”

 

“But you can’t possibly be thinking of continuing on after what happ—”

 

“You can bet your bootie I’m going to keep it up! I can’t give give up now. I won’t. As long as I’m still alive I’m going to choose love… and probably long after.”

 

 

 

 

 

[Conclusion:]

 

I hate to make excuses, my friends, but it’s so much easier to create a fearlessly loving character in fiction than it is to become her in real life; in this… surreal reality we now find ourselves in where holding someone is a crime and something to be looked down upon.

 

Much like Beth, I don’t fear getting a virus. My fears are far fucking worse than that.

 

I’m afraid for the mental health of everyone on this planet. Because I know that very fear and stress that we are all experiencing right now, is far more deadly than any dis-ease out there. And I know that the truth about all disease is that it starts inside of you, not outside.

 

I fear for all of the elderly who have no one to hug, and who are terrified of dying alone without a hand to hold much less a body to clutch. I’m afraid for the young children whose fragilely developing minds are being molded to fit into a world of separation. I’m scared for anyone out there feeling helplessly lonely in their isolation.

 

I fear the further separation of the classes; what I’ve come to refer to in my head as the masked and the mask-nots; the mask-nots being those of privilege, those who can afford to eat out, face bare, while they’re served by a masked staff, for example. And this is just one example of many I could give you in which the rules are so blatantly not applicable to certain people.

 

I’m afraid of a world where people of color don’t feel safe around the very people our tax dollars pay to supposedly keep us safe. And I fear a world in which peaceful protests for basic human rights can so easily transform into blood baths initiated by those in power.

 

And most of all, I’m afraid of how easily we have accepted all of the bullshit the mass media has fed us. Because together we are so much stronger than the elite few in power – but somehow those few have convinced us, the masses, to voluntarily give up being together until further notice.

 

No matter how hard I try to ignore it, I can’t. I can literally feel the heaviness of our collective fear, pain, suffering… sadness.

 

Please, I beg you, do not give up your right to love. It is, by far, your most powerful asset.

 

If you’re interested in how you can learn to heal yourself from the inside out, both mentally and physically, I highly recommend the breathing exercises and meditations taught on somabreath.com – as of this recording you can participate in a free Breath Masterclass every Sunday – and I’ll link to that for you in the show notes.

 

Thank you, as always, for listening my friends. If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend, that would mean the world to me, but more importantly it might mean the world to them to discover they are not alone and that they have the right to choose togetherness.

 

That’s all for today, I’ll catch you on the next episode, but until then stay happy and healthy my friends.

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