Dec 26, 2014
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We’re all like little tornadoes, running along life’s unpredictable path. All you pass is swept up into your world, whether you want to absorb it or not, it’ll end up swirling around you. You might be able to push some things back out, but others will get trapped in your whirlwind; circling and circling your head.
You could pick up a branch like a new problem at work. Leaves might surround you like a soothing song overheard on the street. Gravel could strike like a hailstorm on your new car, or sand might strip away a bad relationship like an old layer of paint. We can’t control everything that comes in and out of our lives, we can only be aware of it.
I used to think that I had to fully control the chaotic storm that is my life. I turned to meditation to make myself happy. Eventually, I learned that meditation is not about force. It’s about finding the center of the storm, and being able to be at peace there while the world whips around you.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Dec 25, 2014
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As soon as I stuff my face with turkey and the food guilt starts to settle in, the chaotic energy surrounding Christmas also starts to settle, and then begins to suffocate me like a poisonous gas.
If you know me personally, you might think I’m a Scrooge without reason. I’ve never had a traumatizing Christmas. As a kid, the presents were plentiful and, even though Santa’s handwriting looked strikingly similar to my mother’s, there was bit of magic in the overnight appearance of even more presents, and the half-eaten cookies we’d discover in the morning. There are much more unfortunate people out there with better reasons to hate Christmas, you might think. Sorry, but I just can’t help but be cynical this time of year, it’s in my nature.
Maybe it’s the horrible combination of red and green everywhere you look. It might be the endless carols in every store, on every radio station, and eventually stuck on replay in every corner of my mind!!!
It’s most certainly the somewhat forced kindness and cheer people push out because “tis the season,” and season rules are in effect. There shouldn’t be a season for kindness.
It’s definitely the additional pressure every season-abiding citizen must feel to buy the best gifts, in the most crowded and time-consuming situations. And they better be effin jolly about it too!
I truly feel for the poor people working in retail, who deal with the not-so-jolly consumers. You can’t forget about the small business owners, either, who fret about having the best Black Friday sale, because they fear it’s the last chance they’ll have to sell anything until spring.
Maybe if I had kids I’d be less cynical… but probably not. In my mind, Christmas is just a day that causes way too much unnecessary stress.
A few weeks ago I was deep in stress mode, dreaming of December 26th, and thinking about how to overcome it all, when my gaze settled on this photo. Suddenly, I was transported back to Christmas 2010, the day I made it, and the best Christmas ever.
It was the first time I found myself with no obligations for Christmas. While some might find this sad, I was overjoyed about having some free, uninterrupted, time to spend doing something for me. I quickly made plans with my camera. When my friends insisted I join their families for the holiday, I called my photo plans a present to myself that I couldn’t wait to get started on. That got the point across.
As I gazed at this photo, I remembered how easily I got into the photography zone that day. Just me, my camera, and a few feathers to experiment with. I played with lights, backgrounds, and water droplets, and time passed like a bullet.
This photo is full of so many firsts: It was the first time I ever made something my confidence considered beautiful enough to be called art. It was also the first print I sold as art. It was the first photo Nick claimed as his favorite, and he soon proved it to me by making it the first of my art to hang in our apartment. It was the first Christmas I looked forward to as an adult.
As all these memories flooded my mind, the stress started to ease, and I knew what I had to do this year. It was time to take another Christmas off.
Thankfully, I’m surrounded by people who understand my introverted nature. So when I cancelled Christmas this year, nobody called me Scrooge, or tried to change my mind, they totally got it, and I could breathe a sigh of relief.
Merry Christmas, I hope the holiday was everything you wanted it to be!
Dec 19, 2014
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My hand hovers over the blank page and my restless thumb works the pen tip in and out: click-click click-click, click-click click-click. As I stare at my latest batch of photos and wonder what to write, my eyes fix on this particular rose.
It’s pleading, drowning, and reaching for a savior. The more I look, the more the rose transforms into a figure… like a damsel in distress. Juliet? No. Rapunzel? No. Ariel?! Yes! Ariel, the red-headed mermaid, just before Ursula’s whirlpool drags her from the surface.
So am I a good witch or a bad witch? All the sparkly, shimmery magic that’s swirling around the vase glistens like Glenda from the Wizard of Oz. Of course I’m a good witch!
Then I picture the countertops that surrounded my magical set: piles of petals and bits of chopped stems were scattered across every surface. Am I a flower murderer? Was this a rose massacre? So maybe I’m a bad witch after all.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Oct 10, 2014
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I twisted the crystal wine stopper above my set. It was like looking through a Kaleidoscope. I rolled it between my fingers until the colors and shapes called to me; they said red wine spritzer.
The last time I thought of committing such a crime to a glass of wine a customer asked me to do it. Just like my confusion about the point of keeping a wine stopper around, I was always perplexed about why anyone would cut their wine with seltzer or, even worse, 7Up. Just ask for a grape soda next time.
I bet you didn’t know I was a bartender in a couple of my past lives (okay I know one of you knew-but you’re the only one Ray!). Thinking back to my bartending days is much like looking through a Kaleidoscope too. Some colorful characters popped in and out of my world and left so many impressions on me.
There were characters I wanted to jump up and hug for getting me through college, and there were characters I wanted to strangle for keeping me well past closing time slurring, “jussonemore.”
If only I had my wine stopper back then!
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Oct 3, 2014
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“Don’t forget to take your favors!” Melissa, the bride-to-be at the shower, shouted. “Here, you want a wine stopper?” She shoved it into my hand and grabbed a handful of boxes from the dainty basket that held the rest of the favors.
“Wine stopper?” I said, “why the hell would I ever want to stop the wine?” I was the the cynical bridesmaid, and I was determined to make myself laugh at every opportunity ‘til the day my friend wed. I even got a chuckle out of the waitress.
It was more than a joke though, it was a personal truth. I’m not afraid to admit I’m a lush and I certainly do love my wine. The wine stopper, although practically useless in my mind, was pretty, so I took it home.
Here it is up close. It’s just one more layer on top of my black lace and pink louffa (yes that’s what the pink tint in last week’s photo was). I look right through the wine stopper and it looks a bit like pouring a glass of wine; from white, to pink, to magenta.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Sep 26, 2014
We’ve all been there, and by there I mean right smack in front of someone who just doesn’t see you. Maybe it was a teacher you were trying to impress in grade school, a crush who sat behind you in high school algebra, or that rude co-worker who doesn’t even glance in your direction when you give them a cheery “good morning.”
We all have those moments when we feel invisible and under-appreciated sometimes. But even when someone looks right through you, you are still coloring their world. My camera isn’t focused on the pink in the foreground, I’m looking right past it to the black lace below. It’s blurry, but it’s there, and it makes the lace so much more exotic. Don’t you think?
P.S. Can you guess what that pink thing is that I’m looking through? Give me your best guess in the comments below!
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Sep 19, 2014
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I was ready to give up. They say the hardest step to take is the first one, but for me the 101st step is even harder; especially when nothing seems to be going right. I always have to remind myself that the first 100 photos are shit. I have to convince myself that if I take just a few more shots, I’ll stumble upon something magical.
There are only so many photos I could take of a backlit leaf, so I had to let go of it and move on. I hummed “Mad World” to myself. The lyrics repeated in my mind, “look right through me, look right through me-e-e…” What else can I look through? I wondered. This lace called to me, and this was that magical moment in this series.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Sep 12, 2014
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While most people are oooing and ahhhing about the crisp weather and the beautiful bursts of color that fall brings, I’m in my own little corner, cringing. I can’t help it. To me, autumn is a disease that spreads over the land and kills it. Winter is a cold, dark, dry death, and I dread it.
Throughout this project my eye often finds images that go beyond my visual perception and seem to reflect how my head twists the world. Here, in the unnatural light behind the leaves, I see snow. I feel winter coming and it makes me sad.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Sep 5, 2014
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Want this hanging on your wall? Click the photo to buy now
I was looking closely at the leaf that was supposed to be my background, when I noticed some discoloration surrounding the main veins that branched out inside it. Rivers of decay were running through the leaf, washing away the bright red to reveal a dull yellowy-brown. It was like seeing fall descend upon one leaf. What beautiful decay.
You get two photos today so I can show you the difference between a vibrant, just plucked leaf and one that is on its way to disintegrating into nothingness. Funny how death can be both beautiful and frightening in the same world, and through the same eyes.
Can you think of any beautiful decay you’ve seen in your life lately? Tell us all about it in the comments below.
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
Aug 29, 2014
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Last year I noticed a bush covered in these alien-looking bunches of buds. Every day I looked out the window and imagined going outside and picking a few of them for a photoshoot, and every day I didn’t do it. As the days passed, the buds bloomed into some not-nearly-as-interesting flowers and my idea rotted away with them in fall.
I started out with a brilliant idea for this series that fizzled out into this single photo. It’s the closest I got to my original vision before I gave up and let myself spiral into the wonderful world of the abstract.
I got excited as I abandoned my original idea and moved towards the unknown, all the while the lyrics from the song “Mad World” repeated in my head, “look right through me, look right through me-e-e.” (hear my favorite version of the song on Youtube – skip ahead to 2:00 to hear the part that inspired me)
I looked right through this bulbous specimen to the leaf, and I think that’s where I fell into the bunny pit… fall with me some more next week =)
What are these numbered posts all about? Read the introduction to my Photo & 100 Words project and find out!
